Why?

Why did Zenia dump me after one night? Why did Zed snitch on me? Why were Eva and Zapata at Picton Hall? Why can't I go to Barbados for March break? Why does Dr. Patterson love trains so much?

I'm so confused. My life sucks.

I'm the man!

The Picton Peeler is my new girlfriend, and she's way hotter than the Saugeen Stripper. She says I look finer than that Harry Potter dude who likes horses. I'm going to ask her to come to Barbados with me for March break. Beach in the morning, matinee at Redd Hott Bajan Mamma's in the afternoon, and whatever in the evening.

Life is great!

F#%$ Poetry

I haven't heard from Zed so I just IMed her to see if she read my poems. She said, yes. Then I asked her if she liked them. She said, doggerel. I looked that word up. She doesn't like my poems.

So f#%$ to poetry. I've got a new idea. I saw Zenia Parkinson in the Second Cup, she's home from uni for slack week. We made a deal. For $200.00 spending money and gas, she's driving me to Buffalo tomorrow. I'll buy Zed some really cube gifts at Hot Topic. Then maybe she'll love me again.

Poem For Zed: Similes

Like a bird without wings
Like a wiener without beans
Like a bass guitar without strings
Like me without you

Poem For Zed: My Alphabet

My alphabet starts with Z
Not A or B
Z, you mean everything to me
Please C I'm not really P

Poem for Zed: My Heart v. 1.1

You ripped my heart right out of my chest
And then you shoved it between your breasts
Now you're standing in my blood and gore
I can't take it anymore

Poem For Zed: My Heart v.1.0

You ripped my heart right out of my chest
Now you keep it between your breasts
Your uniform is soaked in my gore
And my blood has dripped all over the floor