I'm the man!

The Picton Peeler is my new girlfriend, and she's way hotter than the Saugeen Stripper. She says I look finer than that Harry Potter dude who likes horses. I'm going to ask her to come to Barbados with me for March break. Beach in the morning, matinee at Redd Hott Bajan Mamma's in the afternoon, and whatever in the evening.

Life is great!

F#%$ Poetry

I haven't heard from Zed so I just IMed her to see if she read my poems. She said, yes. Then I asked her if she liked them. She said, doggerel. I looked that word up. She doesn't like my poems.

So f#%$ to poetry. I've got a new idea. I saw Zenia Parkinson in the Second Cup, she's home from uni for slack week. We made a deal. For $200.00 spending money and gas, she's driving me to Buffalo tomorrow. I'll buy Zed some really cube gifts at Hot Topic. Then maybe she'll love me again.

Poem For Zed: Similes

Like a bird without wings
Like a wiener without beans
Like a bass guitar without strings
Like me without you

Poem For Zed: My Alphabet

My alphabet starts with Z
Not A or B
Z, you mean everything to me
Please C I'm not really P

Poem for Zed: My Heart v. 1.1

You ripped my heart right out of my chest
And then you shoved it between your breasts
Now you're standing in my blood and gore
I can't take it anymore

Poem For Zed: My Heart v.1.0

You ripped my heart right out of my chest
Now you keep it between your breasts
Your uniform is soaked in my gore
And my blood has dripped all over the floor

Poem For Zed: Not Really About April

If I had listened to April
In February
We would still be together
In April
And March, too

Poem For Zed #3

Zed, are you gone, is it true?
Why are you gone from the dude who loves you?
You are the best
I don't want the rest
What do you want me to do?

Another Poem For Zed

I gave my love some roses
She threw one in the snow
Why she put the rose into the snow
I will never know

Poem For Zed

Zed, oh, Zed, I love you so
Why, oh, why, did you say no
Zed, I love you head to toe
Please, oh, please, say I don't have to go